Violet Hill is a guest blogger who fought with struggles that many of us share. Why does life seem meaningless? Is there a purpose to it all? Why do I feel so out of place?
Everyone has a story to tell. We all have a history that has lead us to where we are now. I guess mine was all about being misunderstood and I’m sure there are a lot of others who feel the way I used to. Alone. I used to think I was the only one who wondered if there was more to the world than the emptiness that was my constant companion. I knew that I wasn’t what others depicted me to be, a kid seeking attention that was simply too spoiled and too bored. I certainly never agreed with the people who tagged me with depression and claimed that time would cure my despair. No. I knew there was something missing, a piece of the puzzle I just didn’t have yet. I guess that’s how I found Scientology, by seeking the truth out. And let me tell you that once I did, I knew I wasn’t crazy-there actually was more to life. I just didn’t have the right information. However, now that I do, I’ve gained one of the most valuable gifts of all. Knowing that I am not alone in this world.
I knew there was something missing, a piece of the puzzle I just didn’t have yet. I guess that’s how I found Scientology, by seeking the truth out.
You can say I was your typical rebel without a cause. But how could I behave when nothing around me made sense? I couldn’t agree with something I didn’t believe in. I guess many can’t either. We look around and all wee see is chaos in this world. Pain, suffering, irresponsibility, drugs, promiscuity, poverty, corruption, injustice, are all consuming our society nowadays, and trust me, I could carry on about all the endless ways the world has turned for the wrong but that’s not the point. Where I’m trying get at is that everyone has turned a blind eye to all these terrible things and those who can’t ignore it become what I was. Someone drenched in anguish.
I just remember feeling I had hit rock bottom. I literally had no hope. I felt that the world could not be cured and that there wasn’t really a future for me in it, so I did the unthinkable….
Things took a turn for the worse when I found comfort in alcohol. I never did do drugs but alcohol is after all a drug so I guess I only did that one. I strongly believe alcohol is the door to the rest of the drugs. It’s just a drug that is socially accepted. I tried to hide from the world by abusing of such drug and it didn’t turn out too well. I just got more and more depressed. My family didn’t understand me and neither did my friends. It just felt like I was insane. I was barely nineteen and I felt the floor crumbling at my feet. I just remember feeling I had hit rock bottom. I literally had no hope. I felt that the world could not be cured and that there wasn’t really a future for me in it, so I did the unthinkable. I took too many sleeping pills.
Looking back at it, I understand why I did it. I had been fed false information all my life, well really most people have, so I’m not surprised there are many teens out there that think that it is the only escape. Right now we only see the world as chaotic with not much comfort in it. There is education about literally everything except how life works and how to live a better civilization, that is until now. Scientology for me was like the secret book of life. Everything I didn’t understand about me, the world and life was shown to me through it. I came by it after my overdose. I knew I needed help. We all know when we are in trouble and need support. I hadn’t spoken to my mom in over more than a year but for some reason I knew I had to ask her for help. Indeed she knew exactly what I needed. While everyone wanted me to go to a psychiatrist, psychologist or what not, my mom knew the real answer.
People need education because are real enemy is ignorance.
She took me to a ship where I learned about Scientology, Freewinds, and as soon as I docked I knew I was home. It was like someone had burst the bubble where I was in so I could see clearly. People don’t need fixing, or don’t need to be drugged, or “disciplined”. People need education because are real enemy is ignorance. My first course was the congress The State of Man. I thought I hated learning, books, and “Education” but I had never had so much thirst for knowledge as I did when I read that first chapter. It’s like I could have gone on for ages and not felt the time of it all. I stayed on the Freewinds for two months but it felt like two days and that’s when it hit me. I understood I could confront anything because I had access to all this information. It was refreshing to get back my integrity and a will to fight for my life. We are all valuable and we just need to know that we are wonderful beings who have so much potential. Flash-forward to the present time and now each new day I keep learning this. I fight to become a better me and to live in a better world. That is the gift Scientology has given me.